1. |
Side A
15:15
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There is a way things are ordered, I have seen it in the morning
To rise again from sleep, it is like coming back from dying
And the cycle goes on and on and on
Who is joining ends to ends? What letters have I drawn?
I was sleeping a while like a little child
Looking out through windows, seeing shapes and lighting lights
All the plans that I made they came true at once
Living half a life but loving, this is what the work was
And while I slumbered I heard them outside my door
Asking in a whisper what exactly I was waiting for
It is comfort, I said, it is a day of rest
Deciphering the past, and I think I have done the best
But when I saw all the ways that my spirit had gone
A little joy in lowly things and singing all the day long
All the plans laid out by the one who made them
Something took my shoulders, shook me, and I am awake
I awoke by the window from this dream
Looking out into the yard, and then I saw the scene
The broken home, broken windows, drinking to the bottom of
The bottle just to hide from all the ruin that had come
And I hated the one who made the game like this
Setting up the cards to fall, the hand to be embarrassed
And all the rage came up in me, though I hated to
I hated you
I am the new will, the eyes with the burning in my stare
Did I cut you off, do-gooder? Did I leave you there?
All the plans that you made filled with little things
Living half a life, false virtue, this is what your day brings
You naive and foolish all you earnest and you good
Never turning out the tables, never raging as you should
I am the thorn in your side and the air that you won’t breathe
Speak and I won’t hear you, ask and you will not receive
Nor will you open your mouth from behind the door
Ever keeping order, ever watching as before
All the plans laid out by the ones who made them
You are wearing your welcome blindness, vision is what stays.
Oh my friend, have you fallen to despair this way:
Thinking that tomorrow is a repeat of today?
All the plans that you made, they deny you things
Living half a life, false virtue, this is what your day brings
Have you looked in the dark room with the face of one too bright
Ignoring any peace, collecting interest on this life
There is a sickness inside you like a restless ghost
Burn it out or let it run the day, I know you won’t
Or are you sinking down into the dark comforts of your life
Sitting without speaking and sleeping away your time
I am the waker, the clock with the two hands
So can you ease off that riddle for a while now
Swing fists back through the fog, deciphering the past somehow
Like your grandmother calling to the house again
“Are you on your way, who used to say that, and where do you live?”
All the dread of your life resounds so hollow in song
No joy left in little things, or singing all the day long
And all the plans laid out by the one who made them
Give away your life, false virtue fades away again
Well I don’t need you like you need me, I don’t want you like you want me
I will hide you away though I know you’ll be back to haunt me
Like you haunted those before me without ceasing
I am pushing the walls holding the place upright
Ignoring any peace, at least I have the will to fight
All the plans laid out, evil dream
You have worn out your welcome, I can’t unsee what I’ve seen
If my comforts close in on me and take me down
The things I stole will be returned, though I won’t be around
Like the love that I had for you before
Do you love me more?
I can’t unsee what I’ve seen but I’m missing
A piece of something old, and now it rises up within me
Like a breath, like a memory of hidden things
Secrets kept are just another death, so I will sing:
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2. |
Side B
13:41
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Oh I once had a good friend so close to me
Love of loves, I held you in my head, my spinning tree
But now I have a deeper stroke than I had before
You have left me here alone, you’ve gone I know not where
Oh your branches were silver with the dust of those before me
Beautiful and deep, the sound was ringing out a joy
But now the air is dead, the sound is gone
I am like a shadow: the light’s from me withdrawn
I though I saw you in the window last night
I think it was a memory, though I’m not sure I’m right
But if it was you, I am not sure what that means
What kind of savior only comes in silent shadows and in dreams?
In the quiet of my room I closed my eyes
Something slipped around my waist likes strings tied
Then the string tightened up and pulled me over to the pool
Of water, red and gold, the blindfold slipped, the curtain drew
And a staircase formed up on me, a ladder rung by rung
Going straight across the river towards the bridge, among the people
And the steps were all level with the water, straight across,
And flat like a path into the arms of each other, ever and at last
Then I saw all the ways that your spirit went
An empty face that held in all the generations spent
All the last all the ugly, the forgotten and the low
Came running up in joy to join, while I looked on below
The sky shone the water left
the string broke the ground moved
the rose shook, the window
turned out like a page with its letters,
the cycle
—
There is a shortness in my breath, a tightness in my chest
When I think of letting go of things that I loved best
Like your breath in my ear, like the quiet in the morning
Would you cut me off again, or leave me without warning?
I wanna hide you away, my light, I am afraid
Of living half a life or fading out into the grey
I don’t take pleasure in the lack of you, you know
There is a light on in the corner of the room behind the door
A table set with shadows, water glasses lined up on the floor
I heard a sound and I knew that you came in
Caught up in the sweetness of the moments and the day went
I heard a sound and I knew the deed was true
Swept up in the dust between these moments and I need you
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