There is a way things are ordered, I have seen it in the morning To rise again from sleep, it is like coming back from dying And the cycle goes on and on and on Who is joining ends to ends? What letters have I drawn? I was sleeping a while like a little child Looking out through windows, seeing shapes and lighting lights All the plans that I made they came true at once Living half a life but loving, this is what the work was And while I slumbered I heard them outside my door Asking in a whisper what exactly I was waiting for It is comfort, I said, it is a day of rest Deciphering the past, and I think I have done the best But when I saw all the ways that my spirit had gone A little joy in lowly things and singing all the day long All the plans laid out by the one who made them Something took my shoulders, shook me, and I am awake I awoke by the window from this dream Looking out into the yard, and then I saw the scene The broken home, broken windows, drinking to the bottom of The bottle just to hide from all the ruin that had come And I hated the one who made the game like this Setting up the cards to fall, the hand to be embarrassed And all the rage came up in me, though I hated to I hated you I am the new will, the eyes with the burning in my stare Did I cut you off, do-gooder? Did I leave you there? All the plans that you made filled with little things Living half a life, false virtue, this is what your day brings You naive and foolish all you earnest and you good Never turning out the tables, never raging as you should I am the thorn in your side and the air that you won’t breathe Speak and I won’t hear you, ask and you will not receive Nor will you open your mouth from behind the door Ever keeping order, ever watching as before All the plans laid out by the ones who made them You are wearing your welcome blindness, vision is what stays. Oh my friend, have you fallen to despair this way: Thinking that tomorrow is a repeat of today? All the plans that you made, they deny you things Living half a life, false virtue, this is what your day brings Have you looked in the dark room with the face of one too bright Ignoring any peace, collecting interest on this life There is a sickness inside you like a restless ghost Burn it out or let it run the day, I know you won’t Or are you sinking down into the dark comforts of your life Sitting without speaking and sleeping away your time I am the waker, the clock with the two hands So can you ease off that riddle for a while now Swing fists back through the fog, deciphering the past somehow Like your grandmother calling to the house again “Are you on your way, who used to say that, and where do you live?” All the dread of your life resounds so hollow in song No joy left in little things, or singing all the day long And all the plans laid out by the one who made them Give away your life, false virtue fades away again Well I don’t need you like you need me, I don’t want you like you want me I will hide you away though I know you’ll be back to haunt me Like you haunted those before me without ceasing I am pushing the walls holding the place upright Ignoring any peace, at least I have the will to fight All the plans laid out, evil dream You have worn out your welcome, I can’t unsee what I’ve seen If my comforts close in on me and take me down The things I stole will be returned, though I won’t be around Like the love that I had for you before Do you love me more? I can’t unsee what I’ve seen but I’m missing A piece of something old, and now it rises up within me Like a breath, like a memory of hidden things Secrets kept are just another death, so I will sing:

Oh I once had a good friend so close to me Love of loves, I held you in my head, my spinning tree But now I have a deeper stroke than I had before You have left me here alone, you’ve gone I know not where Oh your branches were silver with the dust of those before me Beautiful and deep, the sound was ringing out a joy But now the air is dead, the sound is gone I am like a shadow: the light’s from me withdrawn I though I saw you in the window last night I think it was a memory, though I’m not sure I’m right But if it was you, I am not sure what that means What kind of savior only comes in silent shadows and in dreams? In the quiet of my room I closed my eyes Something slipped around my waist likes strings tied Then the string tightened up and pulled me over to the pool Of water, red and gold, the blindfold slipped, the curtain drew And a staircase formed up on me, a ladder rung by rung Going straight across the river towards the bridge, among the people And the steps were all level with the water, straight across, And flat like a path into the arms of each other, ever and at last Then I saw all the ways that your spirit went An empty face that held in all the generations spent All the last all the ugly, the forgotten and the low Came running up in joy to join, while I looked on below The sky shone the water left the string broke the ground moved the rose shook, the window turned out like a page with its letters, the cycle — There is a shortness in my breath, a tightness in my chest When I think of letting go of things that I loved best Like your breath in my ear, like the quiet in the morning Would you cut me off again, or leave me without warning? I wanna hide you away, my light, I am afraid Of living half a life or fading out into the grey I don’t take pleasure in the lack of you, you know There is a light on in the corner of the room behind the door A table set with shadows, water glasses lined up on the floor I heard a sound and I knew that you came in Caught up in the sweetness of the moments and the day went I heard a sound and I knew the deed was true Swept up in the dust between these moments and I need you